Monday 19 September 2016

Update on the Twins

It has been a while since my last post. Time has flown by this year. Where did the summer go? It's hard to believe the twins are already 9-1/2 months old! At this stage in my new parenting life, I would say I have settled in much more to the busy pace since the twins were born, and it seems more normal now. I can no longer seem to imagine all the free time my wife and I had prior to the twins.

The twins now each have their 2 bottom front teeth coming in. They are also moving around much more all the time. They are both crawling everywhere and pulling themselves up to a standing position. It probably won't be long until they start walking.

Monday 25 July 2016

Upset Children in Public

I was recently on a few airline flights. On a couple of those flights, there were young children (toddler or younger) who got upset at some point during the trip. On past flight experiences, I have found myself become frustrated with the noise, especially if it continued for a long period. Since having my own children, that has changed. During my recent flights, I found myself feeling sympathetic instead for the child and their parent / caregiver who was trying to calm them. I assume this to be similar for many parents. This is just one aspect of myself that has changed since becoming a father.

Thursday 7 July 2016

Growing Up Quickly

The twins are now just over 7 months old. They have been growing and developing so much. John is fairly easy-going, unless he is hungry or tired, and likes to be the one to 'sit-back' and watch everything around him. Ava on the other hand, is constantly moving around and is in the early stages of crawling now. She wants to constantly be entertained. She doesn't even nap as long as John does. We think Ava will be the trouble-maker in the future. We already need to keep a close eye on her when she is playing.

Thursday 16 June 2016

The Strength and Love of my Wife


It was a long and difficult road from when we first decided to have children until the twins arrived. Over the course of around 5 years, we had periods where we couldn't conceive, and we had a total of 3 miscarriages. For me, these were some of the toughest times in my life. There were very hard times, but we pulled through with the hope that we would someday have children. Sarah never gave up and had the strength to keep moving forward.

We were then given the blessing of twins, however it has been a major life change and hasn't been without challenges. Sarah cares for them throughout the day while I am at work. If they are unhappy, she soothes them. If they are hungry, she feeds them, and caters to all their other needs. They have lots of developmental play-time throughout the day while she interacts with them or watches over. She finds time to get housework done, and barely has time for a rest. She soothes them during the night if they wake up unhappy, and each morning she wakes up to do it all again. I help out when I am home, but I can never keep up with the amount she provides to our babies. The amount of strength and love she provides to the twins is more than enough for them to develop and live joyful and fulfilling lives. Our children are blessed with having Sarah as their mother.

Wednesday 8 June 2016

When a Growth Stage Ends, Another Begins

When raising children, the stages of their growth are always changing. Just when you think you have a good routine in place and the babies are doing well on this schedule, something changes. This becomes difficult with twins (or more), as just when you have a good routine and schedule in place, they reach a point in their growth where something changes and you need to adjust the routine. For example, our twins where being fed formula in bottles up until a few weeks ago where they started on some food. Another example is moving their bedtime earlier if they aren't napping well during the day (but they may only be going through a stage and the bedtime will need adjustment again in the near future). Changes to their daily schedules will also impact your own. I feel it's important to keep routines in place from day to day, especially with raising twins, even if the routine needs continuous adjustment.

Monday 2 May 2016

5 Months Old!

Our twins are 5 months old today. Time has sure gone by quickly since the moment that they were born and our lives changed.

There have definitely been some frustrating and hectic moments, but they are more than worth it! They are a blessing.

Wednesday 13 April 2016

Free Time? What's That?

In my adult life, I have always been the type of person to keep on top of tasks and get them done as soon as I can. Then I can easily relax without thinking of what needs to be done (and perhaps it's a bit of OCD). Looking back at my life before the twins came along, I had a lot of free time and rarely had any issue with finding time to get something done. That all changed once the twins came. It's general knowledge that parents are busy with kids, but the change is more drastic with multiples. I certainly don't have nearly as much free time now, but I try to have a bit of time to myself to relax before bed, after the twins are asleep, even if this means putting a task off until the next day or later in the week (which has been a change for me). I'm certainly not belittling the amount of work that Sarah does with the twins the entire day, just stating how much of a change in lifestyle having twins has been for both of us, especially as change for me is difficult. I would already have lost my mind trying to do what Sarah does each day during the week while I am at work. Our twins are going to grow up having an excellent mother, and I hope they will realize that.

Thursday 7 April 2016

Our Birth Story and my Anxiety 'Meltdown'

During the later stages of my wife's pregnancy, she began to show signs of preeclampsia (one of the main factors is high blood pressure, among other effects). Luckily she was being regularly monitored at check-up appointments with her gynecologist. Additionally, the twins were both in a breech position, and therefore she had a c-section booked for late December 2015 (the full term due date was early January 2016). Without getting into too much detail, during one check-up with her gynecologist (I want to say 'our' gynecologist, as I regularly went to the appointments with her, but the doctor obviously wasn't checking me..) at the end of November 2015, the effects of preeclampsia were starting to surpass the 'safe' limit. Sarah's doctor admitted her into the hospital for monitoring, and decided to move the c-section date closer. At that time we didn't know an exact date for the c-section. I planned to keep going to work each day, as it was just a waiting game now, Sarah was doing fine in hospital, and I wanted to save vacation time for when the twins were born. The next morning, Sarah gives me a call at work and states that the c-section has been booked for the following morning! We were both a bit stunned, scared, and excited that it was to happen so soon. Finally, the moment we have been waiting for is here, although a bit sudden! The twins will be born about a month premature, however everything has shown that they are in good health and growing well.

That night, I stayed with Sarah in her room at the hospital, sleeping on a cot. The morning of December 2nd arrives and it was an anxious (although a good anxious) waiting game for the nurse to arrive. A nurse eventually arrives and we are moved to another room nearby to the O.R. to prepare and wait. At this point, I remember feeling quite nervous, probably even more so than my wife. We are then taken into the O.R., everything gets set up, Sarah was given a spinal anesthetic, and the c-section begins. We were told ahead of time that there would be many people in the O.R. at once, which there were, as there was a team for Sarah, and a team for each of the babies once delivered. Our daughter, Ava, was delivered first, without issue, and was brought over near to Sarah's face after briefly being looked over by the team. A minute later, our son, John, was born. The team looked him over and for a few moments there was some anxiety as they did not bring him over and we did not know what was going on. Eventually we were told that he was having a bit of trouble breathing, but he was doing fine. I was able to get a few pictures while in the O.R., however with everything that was going on, I realized afterwards that I missed a few opportunities, oh well.

Our twins were then moved to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) and I followed the team that took John, while they were continuing work with my wife in the O.R. They got each of them set up in incubators and monitored their vitals. At this time John was getting a bit of help breathing with extra oxygen being provided to him. I stayed with them for a bit, then went back to find Sarah. She was in the recovery room at this time and I ensured her that the twins were doing fine. After a period of waiting, Sarah eventually regained feeling and control of her lower body. She was then brought to see the twins, while still in a bed, and then moved to a private hospital room. At this time, I went to find family that were waiting at the hospital, and to make some phone calls. Later in the day, we were both able to be with the twins, hold them, and try feeding them.

The next couple days were very tiring, as Sarah's room was separated from where the twins were, and we attempted to make visits to the NICU area every 2 or 3 hours for the twin's feeding time. After a couple days, John was doing well and was moved out of the NICU and up to Sarah's room. This seemed to make things more difficult, as now our twins were separated, and we had to each go individually to the NICU to see Ava, while someone remained in Sarah's room with John. One night, as Sarah came back to her room (accompanied by a nurse) after seeing Ava, she broke down crying. Ava was having breathing apneas, and had an episode while Sarah was there. This is a scary moment to experience, as the monitoring equipment Ava is connected would detect that she stopped breathing, alarms would go off, and nurses would rush over. Luckily, Ava started breathing again on her own and was fine, however it is a traumatic experience.

This was the state of things at the time, which was very overwhelming, and I was becoming exhausted and feeling some anxiety,  I noticed at this time that I am becoming dehydrated and loosing my appetite. As it was very dry in the hospital, I was able to obtain some Gatorade to try to get hydrated again. One evening, as Sarah, John, and myself are in the hospital room, I start to feel uncontrollable anxiety (panic attack). I eventually gain some control of the anxiety and break down crying, loosing all control of my emotions. It is important to know that I have suffered from elevated anxiety for all of my adult life and was on a daily medication to help control it. Anxiety runs through a lot of my family. I realized after this event that the dehydration and loss of appetite was most likely caused by the anxiety.

Following the 'meltdown' moment, we called a nurse in to ask if there was any on-site help (whether it be a doctor who could give me a temporary medication, or a counselor of some kind). Talking with the nurse helped some, but really there was nothing the hospital could offer me as a father, as it was a children's and women's hospital. It is unfortunate that the hospital doesn't have some sort of support in this area, as very sick children and newborns come to this hospital and I know there are parents who go through many traumatizing experiences. The next day I got an appointment with my doctor who prescribed a higher dose of the medication I was on, in addition to another medication which is fast acting for when any panic attacks may arise in the near future. This allowed me to gain control over my anxiety and allowed me to be there for my new family.

A day or two later, Sarah and John were discharged from the hospital and we headed home (about a 1/2 hour away, depending on traffic). It felt good to be home and get settled. We continued to spend some of each day in the hospital with Ava, where our family was all together again. Ava had a few more breathing apnea episodes, mainly during feeding, and therefore needed to stay in hospital to be monitored. Eventually, after 12 days in the NICU section of the hospital, the doctors were happy with Ava's progress and she was able to come home with us. It was good to finally have everyone home.

Friday 1 April 2016

Family Comes First

For me, family, especially the children, come first ahead of anything else. I think anyone who is a caring parent believes this. Even through the hard, frustrating, and sometimes anxious times, you need to remember how precious your family is and the sacrifices you would do for them. It is sometimes difficult when I am at work during the day and I know my wife is having a difficult day with the twins. However, if things are bad enough and my wife needs help or isn't feeling well, I am lucky to have a somewhat flexible job position in that I can leave for home at a moments notice. Even in a not so flexible job position, I think many of us would be there for our family if a situation arose.

Monday 28 March 2016

Sam Avery Comedian: You Don't Have To Enjoy Every Moment of Parenthood...

A great blog article by Sam Avery:

Sam Avery Comedian: You Don't Have To Enjoy Every Moment of Parenthood...: Parenthood is like a novelty rollercoaster through a farm - plenty of ups and downs with tonnes of shit and screaming. But before I div...

Twins Draw Attention

Most people enjoy seeing babies, especially newborns, and they draw attention in public. This attention is increased much more with twins. My wife sees this the most, as she occasionally goes out into the public with them (shopping, walks, etc) during the week while I am at work. This can be a bit overwhelming for new parents who are very protective of their infants, as it was for us, however we are getting more used to it now. However I still feel uncomfortable when strangers come over to see them and they are standing quite close. We usually try to keep walking along as soon as we can.

They also get a lot of attention at a family or community get-together. This can be helpful if you are willing for others to hold them as it gives you a bit of a break. Even though it may be a bit stressful, they are usually in good hands and it's best to take advantage of this break while you can.

Thursday 24 March 2016

New Blog

Hi Everyone,
I've started this blog as a spot to list my parenting experiences with infant twins. They are boy / girl twins, and for those of you wondering, no they are not identical.... do you really need to ask? You would be surprised how many times my wife and I have been asked after just announcing their genders. They are categorized as being premature as they were born a month early. They are now currently about a week shy of 4 months old.  I hope to tell some stories of experiences so far, as well as new events as they occur.

Why the blog title of "The Anxious Father"? Well, I've suffered from anxiety for quite a bit of my life, and having children just gives me more to worry about. I'm not meaning this in a negative way however; I would never trade them in for anything. More stories on anxiety to come.

I owe a lot to my wife for the raising of our twins (and will continue to owe her a great deal, as this is just the beginning of their upbringing). To start off with, her belly became quite large during the pregnancy, and I know handling all that extra weight was not easy. She has since been a key factor in caring for the twins, as I went back to working full time while she takes maternity leave to care for them every day (and there are definitely many frustrating moments).

As for a little about me, my day job is working in the electronics engineering field, developing RF power transmitters. By night, I try to help out my wife with the twins.

I am by no means a writer, but hopefully I can keep you entertained and pass on some tips I've learned. More posts to come, stay tuned...